Put an End to Restrictions on Squirrel Movement

We the petitioners believe that legislation prohibiting squirrels from free movement in public spaces is immoral and unconstitutional. Denying access to certain parks or city sections cannot be justified under any circumstances. Furthermore, practices that prejudice certain squirrel breeds over others based on the colour of one's fur or the bushiness of one's tail are similarly repugnant to right-thinking mammals. All squirrels have the God-given right to the nuts of the trees, and should not be reduced to the less savoury, second-rate nuts of lesser trees only because of the dictates of humankind.